oh my goodness.

i talked to my mom earlier today. she said the numbness wore off on her arm sometime in the middle of the night so she’s in pretty bad pain. she’s got a little iv port with some heavy-duty stuff that she can get at the push of a button at certain intervals, or so my sister told me. my mom also said that while her arm was numb her hand just started flipping and doing weird things all on its own. she couldn’t feel it or stop it or anything. how disconcerting would that be?

i’m performing in about an hour and a half, and i have to admit that i’m even more nervous right now than i was last night. it doesn’t help that the original ending monologue was cut way down before we started rehearsals three weeks ago, then added back in last week, then cut some, then cut some more, and now–as of this morning–it’s back down to about what it was originally, with a few of the things that were added still in there. so now i’m all paranoid that i’m going to put things in that shouldn’t be there or take things out that should. and the first part of the show is really dragging. we were at about 15 minutes or so when we were rehearsing, and now we’re up to about 20. not good. although when we were rehearsing we didn’t have most of the props, a set or the stage, all of which affect things. we didn’t even the expanded ending until the last day or so, and we never really did a full run with it at normal speed until this week. it’s also a pretty emotional ending, which takes longer than just blasting through something. hopefully having had a few nights in there with the set and cutting the ending back down, along with the audience factor, will help it to move along more quickly. we’ll see.

ok. i’m going to go try to relax and not think about it until i have to leave…


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November 2010


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