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back to square one.

Yesterday was technically day one of my new cycle. I think, based on the testing I did, that I may have had a chemi.cal pregnancy (CP). I went in for an U/S today to make sure that I didn’t have any cysts from this cycle, which I don’t, but I ended up telling the RE about the testing. He said that although we don’t know for sure there’s a good argument to be made that it may have been a CP. He said he knows it’s frustrating and he’s frustrated too, because on paper everything looks good. My tests have all come back fine, my levels are looking good every cycle, we’re having good results from the meds, we’ve had two successes even though they were followed closely by losses.

So, here’s the plan: we’re trying one more time with Foll.istim because I still have the meds from last cycle as I had already ordered them but didn’t end up needed to use them because I had enough left from the cycle before. Even though I have coverage for meds it takes forever to get approval for them so switching now would mean us paying ourselves and trying to get reimbursement, and since I still have the other meds this is the most practical way to go about it. We’re changing up my protocol to try and stimulate a little differently without over stimulating based on how I’ve responded before. We want this to work, but not TOO well. In the meantime they’re getting the paperwork in place so that if it doesn’t work, we can switch meds next cycle and hopefully avoid any delays or OOP expense beyond my co-pays.

That’s where things stand on the TTC front. In the meantime we’ve decided to stop waiting on our kitchen remodel and do it now, starting within the next month or two. It’s the last big project in the house and really needs done, and it’s going to be hard enough with one toddler in the house; putting it off likely means another year or two when we will hopefully have two little ones running around. We’ve had lots of brainstorming and the design is pretty much set. We’ve gotten quotes for a couple of different cabinet brands and have settled on one and have a timeline of when to expect things once we order. It’s going to be very different, but the big things are staying really close to where they are so it means very little moving of water and electric, most of that will be connecting things up and adding wiring for more outlets. We’ve decided to pay the extra to have the cabinets installed because the money it will cost is worth it in reduced stress and work for us. We bought the new stove today, which was the last appliance to be replaced, and we’ll be tearing out that area and putting in a temporary setup after a party we’re having at the end of the month.

It gives us something else to focus on. I’m going to take some before photos soon so that we can keep a record of our progress.

keepin’ on.

Well, I did have one more dose on Thursday, with a trigger on Friday and last Sunday was the insem. Since them things have been pretty good. Everyone is finally feeling good. I won an i.Pad on Tuesday (no, I’m not kidding and my blog hasn’t been taken over, I really did). On Saturday Monkey and I made another trip to the conservatory and had lunch with a friend of mine and her littlest, and then during his afternoon nap time he climbed out of his crib–actually, he climbed up onto the rail and was riding it like a pony, so this past Sunday his crib became a big boy bed and he’s been happily sleeping in it since.

I went yesterday for my blood draw and then did the booster last night. I think I might be a crazy lady again this week to try to test out the trigger, perhaps with the faint hope of seeing it get darker and turn into an early positive. Plus it would be nice to see one by next weekend instead of waiting the full ten days they say to until next Thursday to test. On the other hand, I could just end up seeing those negatives once it tests out. Only time will well.

lower down, and back up.

Well, things got a little worse here last week. Firefly and I spent Tuesday morning at urgent care only to find out that she had pneumonia–and not one, but two separate infections. She went back to work today but was totally exhausted. Then on Friday I took Monkey to the pedi because we could tell that he had a double ear infection (he still has his tubes and both ears were leaking), and he also had tonsillitis–but his lungs were clear, which is good, obviously. I was a little worried because he’s been coughing and it sounded a little wet and we would have hated for him to come down with pneumonia too. But we’re all finally on the mend after 2+ weeks of illness, so things are looking up.

As far as this cycle goes, so far so good. I went in today for a follie check, I’ve got at least two good ones on each side. So, more injections tonight through Wednesday and I’ll go back on Thursday morning for another check. I’m guessing we’re have an insem either Saturday or Sunday as long as things continue to look good.

Today was a holiday for me at work, so I took Monkey to daycare and headed to the conservatory with my camera for some much needed time alone together. I’ll try to share a shot or two from my recent trips soon.

rough times.

It’s been a rough few weeks here. First the flooded basement, then I got sick and spent three days sleeping off a fever and a nasty bug, which I gave to my mom, my dad, and Firefly. My poor mom had the fever last weekend and never quite recovered, and the fever came back this weekend. Thankfully Monkey seems to have managed to escape the worst of it; he’s got a runny nose and an ear infection, as well as the cough that has overtaken all of us, but he didn’t get the fever and has been, for the most part, his normal mischievous self. None of it seems to be bothering him much other than waking him a couple of nights, I think from the ear infection, and we’ve able to get him back to sleep quickly.

And then Saturday afternoon I started my cycle, which I’ll admit I knew was coming because I got a little obsessed this cycle and decided to get some cheap tests to see if I could test out the trigger. I wasn’t supposed to test until Sunday but I tested again on Friday and got a negative. So, yesterday was officially CD1 since it was my first full day. Tomorrow morning I go in for day 3 bloodwork and a baseline U/S and we start all over again. I don’t know. I’m trying to stay positive, but today I’m just feeling discouraged.

not exactly the weekend we had planned…

On Friday morning the alarm went off on our backup sump pump, so we called for the company that installed them to come out and fix things. At around 11:30 I called my dad, who was at our house with Monkey. He said the alarm hadn’t gone off again, but went to check…and didn’t even make it to the basement because he could see water from the top of the stairs. I told my boss and rushed home, then spent two hours getting anything I could UP off the floor. The guy finally showed up around 1:30, and he replaced our main sump and pumped the water out of the basement. It was miserable. Firefly got home from work a little after 3 and Bean came over to hang out with Monkey so that we could clean without worrying about him. Luckily most of what we had down there was in plastic tubs or up off of the floor so we didn’t lose too much and as far as I can tell nothing of real value, but we did lose some. The worst part is that the laminate floor we installed last summer in half of the basement is ruined and we’ll need to pull it up.

On top of that we had a small group of people coming to our house for dinner on Saturday night, so Bennder took Monkey to the movies to give us more time to focus on cleaning up more of the basement and also to get ready for having people over. Dinner was a lot of fun and we ended up sitting up until around 1am, then cleaned up a little after everyone left and finally went to bed around 2. Today we kept busy, and SOMEONE refused to nap and didn’t go to bed until his normal bedtime. I’m exhausted.

all done.

Well I wasn’t quite ready to trigger on Monday, so it was one more dose of F0llistim before triggering on Tuesday for an IUI this morning. Firefly and I both took today off work, and aside from some cramping for a little while after things went well. Now it’s just wait and see. I start pr0gester0ne tomorrow, booster injection on the 7th, and test on the 12th. Fingers crossed.

After the appointment we went out for a nice breakfast together, then went to a home improvement store to look and dream about our next (and probably last) big house project: the kitchen. It is actually a project that we’d like to tackle sometime within the next year or two, and the sooner the better. We’ve gone to a couple of different places to get some design ideas and I think we have a good idea of the general direction we want to go in, which will allow us to do some actual planning as far as how to make it happen and what we’ll need as opposed to the daydreaming we’ve done up to this point. And in the meantime thinking about it will help keep my mind off of other things. Like what may or may not be happening in my body right now.

things are moving along.

I’ve been on F0llistim injections since Sunday and went in yesterday for my initial bloodwork and U/S. Everything came back looking good, E2 was 246 and I have 5 decent follies right now–three on the right (two at 10mm and one 9) and two on the left (9 and 7). I’m keeping up the same dosage thorough Sunday night and will go in again on Monday for more bloodwork and another U/S to check progress. I’m guessing that the 7mm one will fall behind and I’ll likely be left with 3-4 decent follies. I ordered our donor already and the nurse said to be ready for a trigger as early as Monday night, which would mean a Wednesday morning IUI.

It’s all a little bittersweet for me right now. Had my first pregnancy carried to term, we would have a babe exactly two weeks old today (assuming of course that it arrived on the due date, which as we all know rarely happens, but still). I’m trying my hardest to stay positive and not get caught up in the fear of another loss, but it’s hard. I’m reading things into everything just trying to stay hopeful and optimistic instead of apprehensive.

This is our 8th cycle actively trying, and 8 is my lucky number; okay, so it’s the 7th IUI because one cycle was scrapped when I didn’t respond to the meds, but the 8th where we’ve actively tried. And this cycle started on Friday the 13th, which may not be the best omen, but 13 is 4 together and 4 is half of 8, plus this is my 4th injectables cycle. I did realize that if this cycle does actually work I’d be nearing the end of my first trimester around my birthday, so out of curiosity and sheer masochism I looked it up to check and see. I’d be about 10 1/2 weeks if you’re wondering, but you know what else? At least according to the calculator I used? Not only did this cycle start on Friday, January 13th, but I’d be exactly 13 weeks along…on Friday, April 13th. I’m hoping I’ve got a new lucky number.


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